Monday, January 22, 2007

Christmas Freaking Miracle, Volume I

December 15, 2006, (New York)—The day of the company Christmas party arrived with much anticipation. I had been hearing about it since my first week of work with this beverage alcohol company. Apart from the three-hour open bar—top shelf included—I could get as much of the famed macaroni and cheese from the high-end BBQ restaurant where our party was held. After hearing all the stories, my plan was to stay sober and stay clear of others’ silly mishaps, while trying not to enjoy it too much.

I thought things couldn’t get any better, but I received a cigar-smoking, wine-boozing gingerbread man nametag when I got into work that fateful day.

Oh my god, this was going to be the best company Christmas party ever.

While I thought it was super cool enough to take home and show my mom, there is a certain stigma around nametags that hasn’t seemed to go away since I left grade school. They’re awkward. Nobody wants to wear them. And I didn’t want to be the only loser wearing a cigar-smooking, wine-boozing gingerbread man at the company Christmas party.

So I put it on just before we entered the restaurant.

To my delight, not only was most everyone else wearing their nametags, but servers were standing in a line with trays of white wine, red wine, beer, mini sandwiches and hush puppies (I put the break on for those).

I did not, however, take a drink right then. Although I knew I could “Sip and Switch,” I was trying to play it safe: Do Not Be The Drunk One At Company Christmas Party.

All was going well, about two and half hours in, I had only nearly finished one glass of Champagne, taken a few sips of my Rosé Champagne with my lunch and left my tediously muddled Mojito at the bar after just a couple of sips.

Mostly, I was planning on Sipping and Switching the cocktails I had checked out on the restaurant’s website before the party. My new friend—that I made because she was wearing the same H&M dress as me—thought this sounded like a good idea, so we took a seat at the bar (Mistake #1) and each ordered a Coltrane’s Resolution.

Served in a Champagne flute, this little cocktail made with Lillet and blood red orange juice, seemed harmless, but I finished it (Mistake #2) before I remembered to Switch. Next, we ordered the Billie Holiday, the delicious apple cidery concotion served in a Martini glass and rimmed with cane sugar. I had seen someone spill on a colleague earlier in the party. At this point I got up to socialize and forgot The Rules.

“Last call!”

These words seem to have a Pavlovian effect on me: “Last call,” Salivate, “Where’s the bar?”

The bar was crowded with other Pavlov’s dogs who were looking to get one last free top-shelf drink before we were kicked out and sent back to the office. So I decided to take pity on the bartender, and rather than order another cocktail that I actually wanted and would have enjoyed, I took the easy road for the bartender, “Scotch on the rocks, please.”

Although I never drank the Patrón Tequila shot that someone had handed me and I carried around for awhile, and my new friend kept sipping my Scotch, I was officially drunk in a mere half hour or so. Quite possibly, a record.

Before heading to the “After Party,” some people went back to the office to grab their belongings, some wanted to finish up some work, and I wanted everyone to try Champagne with the wine sorbet I had in the freezer. Delicious.

About ten people were standing around my cube when my co-workers’ boss, who is sitting in my chair, suggests that I open the bottle of Irish whiskey, which I wouldn’t do because it is sort of like a trophy of my first feature. But I said ok to the Bailey’s Mint Chocolate, opened some mini bottles of craft whisky that the owner of that company never intended for me mix with anything—let alone with Bailey’s and ice in paper cups in my makeshift cubicle bar.

Mixing cocktails in my cubicle, by far the most fun I’ve ever had in that space.


Anonymous Julia said...

Christmas is over, Bridget. When's volume II coming out?

11:10 AM  
Blogger flynn said...

Aw crap, you caught me, this is true.

11:52 PM  

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