Thursday, April 13, 2006

How to Land a Job in New York

One of the past year's great mysteries, how to land the elusive full-time job I would actually want--and not be freed six weeks later.

It is strange to think that a year ago I couldn't handle the thought of a 9-to-5 and these days, not only I am I obsessed with finding a 9-to-5, I crave it, dream it, and would it if I could. Oh to be able to pay my rent, my bills, and buy groceries without feeling guilty!

So far I've learned that if you want to move to New York, you have to show up, even if you don't have a plan. You temp, you sublease--expecting a secure job and a perfect apartment before you get here is not only impossible, it's just plain silly.

Here's what I've learned:

1. To get an apartment in New York, you need a job in New York. To get a job in New York you need an apartment in New York.

2. If you don't personally know someone moving out of an apartment, you are going to be paying a hefty broker fee. Luckily a man named Craig Newmark has a solution and while providing me with mine I came accross this article on Jessica's coffee table, which was next to her couch, which I was sleeping on because Annie's roommate is obsessive compulsive. I should also mention that I met Jessica the night I came over to sleep on her couch. Oh New York!

3. Temping is the best way to get the elusive "New York experience" Annie's interviewers claimed was required. (There is also unpaid internships, but that requires savings or loan.) It seems that employers are afraid that us southerners are not going to to be able to handle the hustle and bustle and dog pee of New York--this goes for anyone that didn't grow up or go to college on this god forsaken island.

4. No matter how compelling my argument, I will never convince people that I am not from the south. I am beginning to accept that most of the country does not know anything about their capital, besides the buildings that occupy The Mall, which for some will conjure the great white building of Tysons Corner. (This last point has nothing to do with job hunting, but it pisses off enough that I'm mentioning it. ((I suppose I deserve it since the kids I was in Italy with were from Kansas and they complained that people from the coasts knew nothing about the midwest, which I couldn't argue with.))

Insert brillant concluding sentence here.


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