Thursday, December 08, 2005

Robbers, Roofies and Victory

Once swim team was over and I was faced with the reality of hunting for a full-time job I ran away to Boston and took Sable with me. Granted at the end of the trip I was going to go on an interview in Taunton “armpit” Massachusetts.
Boston College graduate D. Leebs suggested we drink brew at the Purple Shamrock next to historic Faneuil Hall. He also said there were loads of bars in the area.
We took Boston’s fine metro line, the “T” downtown and walked the block looking for the most crowded bar. It was a Monday night in August, students weren’t back in town yet, but on an unhappening night we planned on going to the most happening bar.
Bell in Hand, oldest tavern in America, situated in a triangular building on the corner was the most alived. A band played at the tip of the triangle while the crowd was occupied themselve with the Red Sox game. I chose what I thought was a Boston brewed Killian’s Irish Red, the word Irish should have tipped me off.
While I pondered whether this was the actual location of the oldest tavern in America touristy Sable who likes to try new things in new places asked the bar tender, “What do you recommend?”
“Ever had a U.F.O.?”
“Get that.”
We sat at a table next to the windows that began 2 feet from the ground and attracted Sox fans to stop in our personal space to check the score of the game.
“I’m not sure where to put my purse. Normally I’d move it to the side of the table away from the crowd but a passerby could just snatch it with these open windows, ” I said.
Haha. Yeah.
We readjusted our bags and continued chatting and a man picked up something off the table.
-I don’t remember him putting something on the table when he walked by before.
Sable jumped out the window.
-Oh Shit.
-That guy took Sable’s purse.
-Well Sable is fast she doesn’t run five miles a day slow. She’s my most athletic friend. She’ll catch him.
I popped my head out the window and looked in both directions. (Even though I knew which way they went.)
-Yes, I should stay here and make sure no one puts roofies in our drinks.
-But if she doesn’t catch him we’re not going to be drinking these beers.
I popped my head of the window again, both directions.
-Humph. Goodbye tall glasses of ice-cold beer.
And then I jumped out of the window too.
A Middle Eastern man on the street asks me if a man took my friend’s wallet.
An old couple wondering why I just jumped out the window looked at me in shock. The lady points to her friend, an old guy with white hair, “He’s with us! He didn’t do it!”
No, really? Ah, but he is walking by…Sable’s flip-flops!
While I was pondering roofies and chatting with nutjobs, Sable had freaked out the moment she realized a man took off with life-—cash, credit cards, cell phone—she jumped out of the window, kicked off her flip flops at the corner and begged the man to stop.
City strollers stopped and stared at the beautiful athletic girl with long blonde hair chasing a dude screaming, “Stop! Please! Please Sir! Stop!”
Robberman wasn’t about to stop. Sable wasn’t going to catch him. New tactic: “He stole my purse, He stole my purse!”
Big man grabs Robberman's shoulders.
“Give her back her purse man.”
“Some guy told me to take it.”
“Please sir! Please give it back to me!”
“I said, give her back her fucking purse.”
Robberman handed it over to very distraught Sable who turned around to collect her flip-flops, which I already had and as a very bad friend I was already laughing.
“Girl, you were smart to yell that he stole your purse! Good thinking!” said some tourist lady.
While Sable is telling me her side of the story, two guys who had been in Bell in Hand run up to us.
“We saw you guys go out the window. Did someone steal your purse?”
“Yeah, but I got it back.”
“Wow. I’m sorry. Good thing you got it back. Victory beers on me,” said light pink shorts dude.
Needless to say, the bouncer gave us a hard time about jumping out the window until we told him what happened. Then he wanted a description. Whatever I’m sure that happens all the time at that bar.
Sable and I sat back down at our table. And before we started another round of laughter girl with “victory beer” guys said, “Don’t worry. I watched your drinks. Nobody put anything in them.”
“Sable let me tell you why I didn’t run after you right away…”


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